I'm not strong anymore :/

Hi baby boy. Yeah, you! My boyfriend :) How are you, sayang? I hope you're doing fine all this days alright? I miss you. Ye, I rindukan you sayang. It just that, I want to remind you the day we get to know each other. The day, you're telling me that you do like me. And the day, you ask me to be your girlfriend. Do you still remember this? :/  I know, I write this like more than 2 posts.But it can't go away from my mind. 

Sayang, do you still love me like you used to? or dont you? Do you still need me, like you always tell me, before? Do you? I love you, Raja Ahmad Taufiq like dying! I need you by my side like 24-7. I know you need your own time. But, you just dont understand how i felt. 

Dulu, when we first met. You told me that you like me. I don't like you at first. But at that moment, you told me that you like me. I started to like you too. I don't know why. Maybe, it's because of your attractive eyes and the way you hold my hand. I guess? 

Then after a day we know, you called me. And you told me that you have something to ask me. I was to curios, and I really want to know what is it. But you asked me at the end of our call. You asked me, "will you be mine?" and that time i was wishing that i'm not making a wrong decision. I dont wanna get hurt anymore. But, without thinking too long cause our ss is about to finish. I just answered it "Yes!"

We always go out together. Watching movie, take a walk, talk bout this and that, we do too many things together, kan sayang? But, did you realize? after day by day pass, things' getting worst and we're not do our things anymore.it's like, you dont have any time for me anymore, and i don't have any time for you too. 

Sayang, I'm begging you. Let's start it all over again? I'm not strong anymore for this. I'm not. Please, let me have you. Let me have some of your time. Let me have your love. Let me know your secret that you never tell any other girls. and Let me be yours. Can you? :/

I'm not hoping for you to be the best. Cause I know, if we got jodoh. Allah already makes you the best for me. But sometimes, I swear i get jealous to see my friend with their boyfriend. they're just too sweet. And I really wann feel that. I'm always hoping for your sweet words sayang. You always send me your sweet words before. But, not anymore. Where did they all gone? 

Am I like nothing to you anymore? :/ Sayang, sometimes i feel like giving up and i feel like i want me and you do our own thing. But I can't!  :/ Everytime i feel like letting you go. I'm thinking, how if this is really the end? And i'm thinking, how long i've been searching someone like you and when i already have you, i'm just letting you go like that. I'm gonna regret  if i let you go. Yes I am :/ 

Gosh, I'm starting to cry. i know you're not gonna read this untill here. But i just wanna let you know how much I miss you, How much I'm hoping for something that you didnt do it anymore. and How much i want to be yours. I love you so much Raja Ahmad taufiq. I love you till the end of my life. And I swear to god. If, I am yours I'm not going to waste it. i will make sure I am the one and I'm the only girl that could light up your world when you're down. That could here all you problems anytime anywhere like no one else can. Yeah, I'm not promising you to be the best kan? But, i'll try to be the best and i'll never give up until you're telling me that I am the best for you. 

I'm sorry for all the things i'd done. I mean all the bad things lah. I never meant to hurt you.NEVER. It just, Hm. People make mistakes kan sayang? I'm really sorry. I really mean it. I love you so much. And I'm sorry if I didnt show you that I really do. This is my way. I'm sorry for all the pains, the hurts, the bad time and all the fight we had. i'm really sorry. I love you so much Raja Ahmad Taufiq.

Your girlfriend.